The Search..

Hmmm...there's lot to write, yet nothing much to write home
about. Precisely the kind of dilemma you're in when you sit
down to describe yourself, in right earnest - you're all of
it, and yet none of it. So who's the real me?
My life has taken me to myriad places, people,
circumstances and emotions, and looking back, I feel that a
common thread runs through it all - Life has been
beautiful, and i'm in love with it. So much so that,
sometimes i'm confused as to who's the real me - the one
who likes to lie alone on the terrace gazing the sky at
nights, or the one who likes to sweat it out at the
dancefloor with pals, the one who feels unbounded joy on an
achievement, or the one who wipes his lonely tears in a
dark room. All through this and lot more, Life has been
indeed beautiful. It still is, thanks to it's serendipity.
Or is it that i'm a die-hard romantic? Did I just mention
romance? Well, thats one emotion which is missing from my
diary. Sometimes, when my solitude; crowded as it is by
events and relationships; gets too heavy to bear, I ask God
that when he gave me the pining for love, I realised I had
a heart, and now that it aches, where's love? As expected,
I get only silences in return, but my life has taught me
that silences have the profoundest of meanings hidden in
them, and so I'm still trying to unravel it.
.......This self-description seems spinning out of control,
I almost sound apologetic about the lack of love, but then
I look out of my window - its 4 a.m. and everybody around
is asleep, the sky is changing hues very slowly, the cool
breeze gives me the goosebumps, the sleepy eyes are opening
wide to the enchantment of the hour, and then a voice of
the Muezzin calling out to all the faithful for prayer,
echoes in the skies, like a manna from the heaven it
descends to me. The prayer, though I can't comprehend a
word of it, passes through my soul, and it rises again,
carrying the weight of my hopes & desires. There she goes....and I say a mute AMEN! I look around, its a brand new day - the first day of the rest of my life - and I'm in love - with LIFE. La vita e bella.
What am I looking for? Hmmmmm, someone who can make sense of the aforesaid goulash :)).
But seriously, someone who can talk, can be talked to, someone who too is straight from the heart.......